BALANCE IS BOGUS WHEN MOVING FORWARD!

When you are balanced you are standing still…when you start moving forward you risk being unbalanced. For me it is a risk I am willing to take, I believe to move forward in life requires me to be unbalanced at times.
When I stop to gain my balance, I am standing still in the now…being fully present in the now wherever that is is and with whoever I am with, be it family, friends, or work. Being 100% in the present moment is balance. When you start moving forward again you risk unbalance and I believe it is a risk we should all take.

Wishing you all an unbalanced day!
xox Kim

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DO YOU SUFFER FROM PERFECTIONISM PARALYSIS?

I have been struggling this week to get in front of the camera to create some videos for a course I want to do…but I seem to keep picking them apart and not getting anything done…so today I challenged myself to just hit record and get use to talking on camera…no matter the bad hair, the background noise or any other excuse I have used these past few weeks. So here is my walk talk for the day. It’s not perfect but it’s a start.

Does wanting to be perfect stop you from taking action and moving forward? This perfection paralysis can affect a lot of us and it stops us from actually doing the things we want to do, or we keep trying to do it again and again looking for perfection…but never really feel it is good enough to share so it never really gets ‘done’.

What is on your list that you really want to do but have been putting off? I challenge you today to just start and move forward. Even if its just one step…start!! perfection is not the goal…action is! Just Do It!

Bonus:
I ran into a few obstacles on my walk this morning. These fallen trees have been on this path for awhile now and I keep climbing over them or going around them. I had an ah ha moment this morning… why did I not just move them out of my way? It seems silly to me that I have been going around or over them for days now and never thought to just move them out of the way. These obstacles were not that big, I CAN MOVE THEM OUT OF MY WAY! Wow so simple!

Why do we let silly little obstacles stop us on our path? Why do we think we have to go over or around them if they are not that big? Why would I continue to climb over the same small obstacles over and over. So I moved them today. They are now gone and the path is clear. And guess what happened after? I got thanked for moving them! These obstacles/trees are now out of other peoples way too…Not only did I remove them for my own good but I also removed them for others that travel this same path! That makes my extra effort so worth my time and energy!!

Wishing you all peace and love today!
xox Kim

PS Thanks to all those that have given me some advice to get better…next one will be widescreen!

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Walking today in a favorite small park near my home that is under construction got me to thinking how messy things get when we start to build, renovate or rebuild anything. First and foremost we must remove the old, clear the space and finally start the build.

This goes for us as well…when we feel that it is time for change we must first release the old, those things that

are holding us back and not serving us anymore. This gets messy, can be painful and sometimes takes a long time (ever watch a reno show…it gets tough). If we try to build over the old, often things are off, the foundations start to crumble and it all falls apart eventually.

Sometimes we need to knock things down, dig things up and remove old crap in order to repair or build new awesomeness in our life.

xoxKim

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Me and my shadow took a moment this morning on our walk to just sit and think.  I find my day goes so much smoother if I can start it off with this thinking time. Listening to ourselves is such a lost art in this noisy world.  Our lives are so busy and there is so much going on around us that quiet time and thinking time is often forgotten. Yet it is so important to be able to hear yourself, think into your life and think about what you are thinking…not just going about life doing!
So today…go find a nice quiet spot, take some deep breaths and just think about what you are thinking.  Listen to yourself.  Be kind. Let the thoughts come and go.  Then ask yourself what is next and just listen for the answer.  It is there in the quiet!

xox Kim

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I have spent the better part of the last few months in what I can now see as my own little pity party…and if there is one thing I am good at it is throwing a party. I had balloons, special napkins and lots to eat. Well not literally but looking back on it now I can see how I fed myself some pretty big dishes of negativity, self doubt and condemnation.  I know on the outside nobody would see this, because I did not invite anyone else to my party…just me and my ego with the occasional appearance from my good friend spirit who supported me in my need to throw this party but also got me to come outside for a breath of fresh air once in awhile.

I have a great life, I know that and deep down I am a happy, extremely smart, optimist gal… I know I am good at what I do…I know I am on the right path…that is my authentic me and I do know her well.  She is what keeps me going even on the dark days when I am dancing up a storm at my party and can’t find the exit! (and sometimes not even looking for the exit)

These past few months I have let my perceived failures truly get to me.  I am frustrated at the financial situation I have placed my family due to my inability to make money…There I said it!  I have been in business for 9 years now, have made some giant mistakes that I have learned a great deal from but at the end of the day I seem to be paralyzed to get myself out of the financial pit I have placed myself and my family.I have worked with lots of others to clear my beliefs that are holding me back, to clear my beliefs about money and my abilities…I second guess my abilities and what the hell I am in business for. “maybe I should not be running a business” “does anyone even want my help?” “Do I have perceived value for people or should I just give up and go work at Walmart…they are always hiring” (that makes me sick to my stomach to even consider 🙂   that is the conversation that runs through my head during my pity party and I can say I am very tired of the music playing there.

I am barring my soul here for all of you to see…my ego is yelling loudly at me to shhhh we aren’t suppose to talk about that stuff…it’s embarrassing and private.  Well fuck private, I know there are others out there who are also suffering in silence.  Who think they are alone in their self doubt and can’t find the exit to their pity parties too.  I am tired of this party, it’s no fun and I am tired of being alone…I am now heading for the exit and if I can inspire even one other person to head for the exit too then awesome.

One of the things I have brought to my party is books, I love books.  When I am tired of all the chaos at this party I sit in a corner and open a book…I truly believe that my spirit provides these books for me as whatever page I happen to open the book on is exactly what I need to hear on my quest to actually move to the exit…today that book was Yes! Energy by Loral Langemeir and the words off the page was all about dusting off my dreams…I have dreams…I have big dreams…I just forgot about them lately as I wallowed in the failed attempts at fulfilling them! OMG that’s right…my past was just failed attempts…but sitting at this pity party is not getting me anywhere, I am not attempting anything, sh!t that wont get me anywhere will it? You see having a dream gives me a purpose to get the hell out of here…something to head towards on the other side of the exit. She talks about optimism and the I can do it attitude and about our conversations…here is  little blurb from the book:

Changing the conversation shifts expectations and actions…(for me the conversation is mostly in my own head)
A new conversation, one that emphasizes “because I can,” leads to a revival of dreams, which fuels energy, shifts attitude, and inspires optimism. Optimism is what makes us move forward into positive action that can make our lives much bigger and better.

On a day where I was feeling sick, tired and stuck this really struck a cord and pushed me to the exit of my pity party, stepping outside the door, taking a huge breath of fresh air, cleaning the dust off my dreams and knowing that all the answers I seek are inside of me and that my authentic optimistic self will move me forward towards positive change and towards my dreams, BECAUSE I CAN!

Here’s to dreaming big,

Love Kim xox

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Being a coach for others often creates the feelings in me that I have to be perfect myself and that asking for help means I don’t have my own shit together…and if I don’t have my own shit together how can I help others get theirs.

Here is what I have learned…the hard way I might add. I am not perfect and that is what makes me a good coach.  I have struggles, I have obstacles and I have shit that gets cluttered in my own life that I have to deal with.  If I did not have stuff to deal with I would not be learning and growing.  But one thing I have always had a hard time doing is asking for help, asking for coaching myself… and guess what…things have gotten hard, and lonely and down right miserable.

This past summer I retreated into myself, as I talked about in another post Every Ending is a New Beginning I had a lot of endings to deal with…and I thought I needed to deal with them totally by myself…and I do feel it is important to spend time with myself, meditate on things and work things out in my own soul.  But what I have come to realize is that it is OKAY to also seek out help and guidance…it does not show others I am weak, it does not mean I am a failure and it does not have to bring judgement upon me.  
What a good coach does is help me figure things out, guides me to think about things I may have not thought about before and  for me my coaches help me move forward with support and encouragement.  They are my TEAM…They are instrumental in keeping me from going totally mental Ha! Ha! 

It took me all summer of shutting myself down to finally realize that I needed someone to help me move forward and a good coach is not there to judge me…to ‘make’ me feel bad about myself and what I have not accomplished yet…NOBODY CAN MAKE ME FEEL OR DO ANYTHING…I choose to feel what I feel, I choose to act or not act…I choose!  And being on my own I was regressing into a negative, self judgmental pit that I knew was not where I wanted to be or who I authentically was.  I needed help!

I was scared…but it had nothing to do with being scared of my coach and everything to do with my own limiting beliefs…I was scared of myself and what I might discover.  But guess what…It was not as scary as I thought…was it easy? no…did I cry at points?  yes! Do I have more work to do? ALWAYS!  But I took the step…I am moving forward to being the best me I can be…and with a good coach I am allowing myself to ask for help.

I am again MOVING FORWARD!

Love  Kim

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The past few months have been filled with lots of endings for me.

The end of a business partnership was one of the big endings for me.  today marked the clear ending of that as the final papers were signed to with the lawyers. Although the ending has been amicable, we love each other and wish each other well in the pursuit of new passions, it was a sad day for me and had me reflecting on all the endings that have come my way this year. Most of those endings being my limiting beliefs about myself and my life.

I feel as though in the past few months I have been decluttering my life of all the beliefs that have been weighing me down and all the distractions that have taken my attention over the past few year, and at the end of all these endings i find myself with new beginnings to look forward to.  I have learned a lot working with the amazing people I have had the pleasure of hanging with, and now find myself taking all that learning and sitting on the edge of the unknown with myself.  I feel that at this time it is my time to step out of the shadows and put myself forward into the light, to allow myself to shine.  that has always been difficult for me, it is so much easier to be behind the scenes and let others shine…there is not as much pressure there.  I have had moments of being out in the spotlight but for the most part I have been back up support.  I have played small and allowed myself to not go all the way into being myself.

the past few months, with lots of endings not all of my own choosing I find the message that I am getting is that it is time for my new beginning.  to introduce the world to the real me, the confident me, the me that has been growing and learning over the past 45 years and is now ready to say ” I am enough” and I am ready to shine.

As I say goodbye to the shadows and past clutter…I turn my head up towards the light, breathe deeply and know this new beginning is freedom!

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The other day I spend the day fighting back tears and having several crying spells…and I have no idea why.  I get these waves of sadness that envelop me every once in awhile, I can be driving down the street, sitting at my computer or just really doing nothing then all of a sudden I am crying (and often laughing at myself at the same time).  I have come to the conclusion that it is how my body rids itself of stress and overwhelm. Even when I think I am not stressed or overwhelmed my body seems to like to react to remind me that I am…I am tired of struggle, I am tired of being stuck, I am tired of not moving forward…I am tired!

When I am tired, I cry…when I am overwhelmed, I cry…When I am disappointed, I cry…Sometimes for no reason I can understand, I cry…then I pull myself together like the mom on Love Actually and carry on.  It does not make me weak, it does not make me unworthy…it just is me!

Carrying On,

Kim

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How do we get rid of the guilt of needing time to ourselves in a busy world? I am still working on that how, but I have made the connection that my soul needs down time…almost the same amount of down time as I need uptime.  that is who I am, that is how I function, that is what I need.

The past few years as I have fought that, I have tried to follows others examples of how they function, I have tried to change  my patterns and be like other productive people…and guess what happened?  I crashed and burned, suffered anxiety attacks, cried a lot (not in front of anyone of course) and general became miserable.  I don’t like miserable and I am not going to take it anymore.

I am now choosing me, choosing to take the quiet time I need for the simple fact that I need it. I am choosing to see me for who I am and not compare myself to others. I am choosing to move forward in my way, I am choosing my life not someone else’s.  I am perfectly imperfect and that is okay.  I will continue to learn, continue to work hard, continue to grow…but I will also play, laugh, climb trees and retreat when I need to.  For me downtime is a must have to be healthy…so I am gonna take it!

Peace and Joy to you all!

Kim

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There are days when there is so much on my to-do and want to-do list that I think my head may explode. I find it incredibly overwhelming how much comes at me in this information technology world we live in…sometimes it is all too much and I want to run and hide.  That is my coping mechanism…hiding in the woods or in a good book.

There is SO MUCH I want to learn, so many events I want to attend, so many things I would like to get done, blogs to write, websites to edit, clients to work with, videos to shoot, knowledge to share.  A wise person once wrote, that we can do it all, we just can’t do it all at the same time.  So now I choose what I want to get done, I sort and purge just like I teach my clients and then figure out how to organize what is left based on priority and what I want right now.  Making sure my needs are met on the way, that the quiet time I need is part of my agenda and that my expectations are realistic.  Knowing that I need time to retreat is important for me to remember.  There is always going to be more things to do than I have time for, I am now choosing wisely those that get my attention and release to the universe those that are not meant for me now!

Living life in the NOW!

Kim

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